Sunday, March 20, 2011

Warrior Dash Recap!

Saturday morning - it was early.

I woke up grumpy after the little disagreement The Boy and I had the night before.  

We packed up my clean clothes, a garbage bag for the dirty ones, and jumped in the truck to head out to the boonies.  

I will say this - Red Frog events are amazingly well organized.

I got us lost on the way to the parking lot.  I used the Mapquest map instead of using the ones the event provided.  

We parked, hiked over to the shuttle, and rode it to the event site.

There were tons of Port O'Pots - but thankfully I was without stomach flu!!!  Yippee!!

I checked in, picked up my shirt, and prepared for the race.

Jennie showed up and Her Boy, The Boy, and the two of us walked over and watched some of the finishers before us jump into the mud pit.

Finally, it was time for us to head out.

We started out clean.  We started out running.

We made it roughly 0.5 miles when the heat and humidity and dirt path hit me.  I had to take a walk rest.  Jennie was nice enough to stay with me.

We started back running, and then hit the first obstacle: TORNADO ALLEY

It was an airboat sitting on a trailer with the motor fan running full speed - it was like running into a wall.

We then run/walked up and down hill after hill and right into a crowd of people at the second obstacle: MUD SLIDE.

Instead of going head first, we went down on our butts, and damn near ran smack into a big ole dude at the bottom.  Jennie and I had to turn sideways to avoid kicking him in the back.

But finally - we were cooled off - well - at least our butts were.

We jogged some more and made it to the only water stop on the course.

It was also the only shade.  

But we chugged down some water, and walked away slightly refreshed.

Right into the obstacle a wall of: BARBED WIRE.


There were waist high walls to leap over, and then a fence of barbed wire to climb over.  Some went under it, some went through it (Jennie), I went over it.  

Then there was another set of those - ugh!!!

But we made it through with our pants intact!

Next up, was something we decided to call: THE SWEAT LODGE

It was a huge tent, roughly 1 foot off the ground, made of black plastic.  

We crawled through on our hands and knees - it was miserable.

But the up side is that Jennie and I helped some slightly claustrophobic ladies through the sweat lodge by singing Queen's "We are the Champions."

Next up was the: SPIDER WEB

Basically, it looked like someone had let some kids go with some old Chinese jump ropes and told them to run around the trees - a lot!  Jennie and I felt like Catherine Zeta-Jones in that movie - except muddier.

We came out of one mesh-y mess - into another one.


The first set was horizontal to the ground.  We climbed up on top of the grid and monkey-d our way across.  Sadly, there was a mime on the net with us - screaming!

Really - it wasn't that bad!  Poor thing!

But the next cargo net was the worst!  It was roughly 20 feet tall.  

The only "medic" was about 50 feet away sitting in the shade.

I guess it was a good thing we didn't fall.

We were in the zone man!  We could see the tents, and hear the music.  I felt pumped back up.

We rounded a corner right into a: PYRAMID OF HAY BALES.  

We grunted our way to the top, and jumped our way down.  

Everything was fine - until  - OOFFFF

I rolled my left ankle.  Damn!

But we made it through the next obstacles: TIRES

Jennie was jumping through them.  I stepped through - slowly.

And then we wound up in the swamp with the: LOGS.

These logs were chained in place so that they would not roll too far, but be able to roll, dip below the surface, and leap back up to catch you in the butt as you swam over.

But the upside was that we were finally not hot anymore!!

But - we did have to jump over the WARRIOR ROAST.

We were soaking wet, exhausted, hungry, hot, and we now had to jump over fire.  


And I will say that I was happy to have shaved - because if I hadn't - I might have lost some leg hair!

I was super excited - the last obstacle was ahead - MUD PIT!!

Someone had told me to dive in, so I stepped into the mud pit, and then dove.

And immediately regretted it!  OOFFF!

I couldn't breathe. 

No joke.

I was worried that someone was going to have to come in and fetch me out.

But there I was barely moving, in a mud pit, under barbed wire; and the DJ tells the warriors to "dig in."  So I started moving again.  

People passed me, lots of people.  

But I finished.

And then realized that I couldn't see - and the reason was because my entire front side was coated in mud.

The water hand-out girl offered to pour some water on my face so that I could see.  

I was given a medal, The Boy found me, and took our pictures.  

Then it was time to clean up - in a muddy lake.  


We washed most of the filth off, walked into a Port O'Pot, and changed into clean clothes.

Then it was time to celebrate!!!

So here it is March.  And I have accomplished two major running events - Disney Princess Half and Warrior Dash.  

I am sorry that Jennie had to walk most of the race with me.  It was a shame that the day was so incredibly hot.  But I know that next time - we will kill it!

I am limping around a bit, but overall - not injured.

Next up - a possible duathon or 5K!!!

Go team go - WARRIOR!!!!!!


  1. I am so happy you did this and wrote up a report.. I am doing it here in a few weeks and I am super excited! Looks like you had a great time overall. Hope your ankle is ok!

  2. Have a great time!!!

    Take some gym gloves for the cargo nets - if it is a really muddy course the nets will be slick.

    I hope you have cooler weather!

    It was so much fun - I am sure I will do another one and try to redeem myself!

    Good luck on yours!

  3. That. Is. AWESOME!!!! Holy cow!! You are the first person I know to have done one of those. Now I want to! I looked up the one in Oregon and I think it is right after I finish the Disneyland Half. I doubt I'll have it in me. But maybe next year! What a fun - CRAZY - time!! Congratulations, you bad ass!

  4. I am super excited about having done this race - and can't wait until next year!!

    I know I am going to do this again!

    Bummer it is right after your DL Half!

  5. That looks like a lot of fun!

  6. It is one of my favorite races that I have done thus far - can't wait until the next one!

    Happy running and welcome Mike!

  7. LOVE the Warrior Dash! I did it last year in NY and already signed up for the one in August again. It was so much fun and hilarious! Glad you had a great time :)

  8. I just re-read this. I'm going to send the link to BB for him to check out your experience! I think we would have to do that one that you called the Sweat Lodge. Of all the obstacles on the Portland map, that's the one that has me worried a bit.

  9. Jenn - I am sooo doing the next one in Texas - it was that much fun!!!!!

    FruitFly - The Sweat Lodge was crazy hot - but if there was a guy who was through sort-of leapfrogging through the tent and he was out in a short time.

    Those of us crawling on our hands and knees took longer!!!

    Have a great time!

    Plus - I am loving my Pre-Warrior Dash eye makeup!!